Grounded and Groundless
I’ve been on an exploration of grounding and groundlessness. This feeling of being groundless keeps visiting me - through feelings of unsettledness and unease; through the shakiness and imbalance in my yoga practice; and through sensations that, to me, are not calm or easy. In my mind, I kept labeling these experiences as negative. Then I began to reflect, and I verbalized (to myself) that this is groundlessness. Through reading and exploring and reflecting, I came to understand that there is wisdom to be gained through groundlessness. So, I’ve been shifting my focus from labeling these experiences as negativities to using them to more fully understand my humanness. And by doing so, I am not only honoring my humanity, but I have also found a new sense of peace. These experiences have helped me connect to my inner self more deeply, as well as connect to the Divine. These words help anchor my exploration of groundlessness: humanness, curiosity, wakefulness, honor, and good heart. Maybe they will resonate with you too.
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We talk a lot about grounding in yoga - ground through the feet; ground through the sitting bones; find a sense of grounding through the support of the breath...all things I say in class. Grounding is all well and good, and I do encourage you to find a sense of grounding - grounding encourages a connection to the Earth beneath your feet; it encourages unity with all that surrounds you; it encourages a sense of home and ease within yourself.
So what good is groundlessness? Groundlessness pushes us to greater curiosity; it encourages us to move beyond our stagnant habits; it is a spiritual practice that allows oneness with the unknown.
Pema Chödrön says, "Anyone who stands on the edge of the unknown, fully in the present without reference point, experiences groundlessness."
I tend to focus on routine, finding a sense of home, quietness, settledness (typically what I categorize as grounding practices and experiences). But how can we intertwine being grounded with feeling groundless? How can we let go of our ideas and perceptions of our exercise/practice/activity/life and instead live more fully in the present, embracing the impermanence of each moment? This encourages a deeper place of vulnerability within ourselves.
By embracing groundlessness, we can more fully embrace the pureness of life. A groundlessness practice may lead you to feel a deeper sense of grounding, settled, at peace, at home, quiet, easy. We can learn to find a balance between grounded and groundless - they can then be interdependent rather than independent, supporting one another rather than being exclusive.
With that said, I don’t think we ALWAYS need to be in a place of grounding, or force ourselves to be - especially if it just isn’t happening. Rather, I think finding some form of comfort, ease, and okay-ness with the unknown, or groundless experience, helps us embrace our humanness. If we can approach experiences of groundlessness through compassion and a good heart, then I really believe our focus can shift from experiencing something “negative” to simply experiencing. When we recognize that experience through a lens of compassion and understanding, we may feel even a smidge of release or ease - encouraging us to ground.
And with THAT said, maybe you enjoy groundlessness! Maybe the excitement and thrill of the unknown, the uncertainty, the “high” keeps you rolling. Maybe to you, groundlessness is not negativity, but rather spontaneity or immense joy. If so, I encourage you to be aware of what grounding experiences or moments feel like - maybe for you, those are the moments that cause unease. See what it feels like to lean into those moments of grounding to quiet the soul.
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You may be thinking that this all sounds good - but how do we approach finding that balance, or interconnection?
The practice of RAIN is one that is talked about in Tara Brach’s book Radical Compassion. During this exploration of groundlessness, I revisited the practice of RAIN - recognize, allow, investigate, nurture. RAIN is a mindfulness exercise that encourages compassion and ease through deeper and intentional exploration of our experiences and the thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise from those experiences.
Recognize - What is going on inside you? What thoughts, emotions, sensations are present?
Allow - Allow those feelings to arise by being with your breath and "letting be," free from judgement, guilt, blame…
Investigate - What feeling or sensation is most present? Why do you feel that way? Direct your attention to the emotional suffering as well as the physical aches that are present. What do you need right now?
Nurture - Send a message inward to yourself, be gentle, be understanding, be caring, be reassuring. Give yourself what you need, or what you desire.
RAIN can be a particularly comforting exercise when heavy feelings arise - times of anxiousness, guilt, grief, confusion, anger...(experiences of groundlessness).
We can learn to tap into this practice in times of grounding and in times of groundlessness. Practice RAIN to extend compassion towards yourself, and when applicable, towards others. Practice RAIN in times of joy and in times of grief; in times of happiness and those of sadness; in times of confusion and times of anger. You may notice that this practice will shift your attention and your perspective, allowing you deeper and more meaningful connection to your humanness.
In Radical Compassion, Brach explains that the word desire comes from the Latin word desiderare, which means "being away from the stars." She says, "Every part of the universe is made of star stuff; our star is the source of our aliveness; its luminosity reflects awareness itself...Desire, then, is the energy of our star calling us home."
I say this again, by embracing groundlessness, we can more fully embrace the pureness of life. We can use the experience of groundlessness to connect to the here and now. We can use groundlessness to feel more stable, settled, and at peace - once we've learned to invite comfort and support in those times, and have learned to accept the daily fluctuations of the mind-body. This takes time, and it may very likely feel difficult. But by braiding together grounding and groundlessness, we can honor our desires - the star calling us home.
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This is my little analogy related to grounding and groundlessness; and I will leave you with it here -
Take a look at the flower that is the clip for this post. That flower is deeply rooted in the soil of this Earth; she is grounded. She also sways in the wind, loses petals when it rains, and may be nibbled on by little critters; she is groundless. But she is resilient; and she needs both experiences to thrive.
I hope you explore your own experiences of groundlessness - take a gentle look at what it’s like for you. And if you’re one that relishes groundlessness, explore settling into an experience of grounding. RAIN is just one resource that may help in this exploration.
Remember that being grounded and groundless can be interwoven. Rather than making one or the other the “end goal,” shift your perspective to finding a softness while being wakeful to whatever experience arises. Encourage a balance between these two states to expand your curiosity while also honoring yourself.
May you find greater wisdom and deeper connection to your true self through this journey.
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When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chödrön
